Currently Watching Million Dollar Baby [HD DVD] see related

School year is coming to an end and yesterday was officially our last game. it's sad to see our seniors go, but at least i can see "C" play/dry balls whenever the lady backs play. i'm bummed that season is over, but relieved that it's done. i now have time to do homework and sleep, AND..... CHILL!!! WOO HOO!! i can't wait till summer ball starts! right now that's the biggest stresser...finding a team. there aren't many 18U teams around here, the closest i know of is fayetteville then it jumps to ft. smith!! oh well i'll find one some how. i'm currently posted up at "free agent" basically on a national website, hopefully a local coach will see it and want a utility player, plenty want a utility but i don't live in chicago for one. a job is the number two stresser, looking is a pain. i'm going to pick up applications tomorrow and hopefully will find one before school is out(i REALLY need one) addictions drain your bank account...(softball).

So i found out a way to find out who your friends really are....and i didn't like it. lately (past 3 years) i just haven't had luck in life, and those who know me know that. well lately life has gotten good and i'm happy all the time and even though i have a TON of stress....i'm still happy and getting along fine. and all you want is your "friends" to feel happy for you and share your excitement. well let me tell you...if they don't....then they aren't as good of friends as you thought!!! so if you are truly friends with someone, do them a favor...... always give 100% support in everything they do (even if you don't like it), and be happy for them if they are happy......if you can't do those two things, then you really aren't their friend and you need to quite wasting their time trying to make you think they are. in the past three years i have found this truly to be true and in the past week it has come through once again. i just want you to know...i'm the happiest i've been in a long while, i'm single, i'm playing softball, i've got a great summer to be looking forward to, i'm getting along with my parents, i've healed broken friendships, i've asked for forgiveness, and i've fulfilled (ONE) of my life long dreams!!! so be happy for me!!! one of my life long dreams??.......to have a friend who shared my passion for softball, and for us to play on the same teams and be awesome friends, so that we could sit of hours and just talk about the sport......i've died to try and have that, but never have, all my friends have always "cared less" about softball, couldn't wait till i shut up about my last tournament, or my awesome play, or even just about statistics.....but all these years wishing i have got not only one but THREE friends like that......YOST!!... i love you?....Hannah Cicioni and Kayla Brown are the best!!.....we could sit for hours and talk about softball (actually have a few times). i thank God soooo much for that.

YOST~ you are the coolest! you stinking hoss!! i don't know what i would do without you, although we have a weird joking relationship (which by the way we need to fix cause we both never know when the other is joking or serious) and many inside jokes.....we can talk for hours about softball and our futures and not get  bored or even realize how much time has passed. i can't wait for next year, it's gonna be awesome!!!.....hey and for serious....i love you and i would give my life for you.....i don't say that much but you know what i'm talking about. we have a friendship that will never break, and i'm glad cause i smile when i think that i get stuck being friends with you for the rest of my life!

sry for the mushiness, but it's the end of season and needs to be said.

Katie Walker....you're alright for a freshman!!lol i love you to death! no joke, keep in touch this summer.

so i'm out....................................................................................SMALLS #21

Currently Listening Late Registration By Kanye West see related

So you know the person i was talking about in my last post? yeah well there was this guy sitting in front of me that looked A LOT like him in church today. it was killing me!!! So softball isn't the greatest right now, we lost against B-ville on thursday, another shut out, but we are playing Springdale here on Tuesday and we are gonna kick butt. I have been playing Varsity now, Right Field, i move around a lot, i guess that's what i get for being a utility player, so far this year i have played 2nd, 3rd, center and right!! and that's only in games, in practice i have played everything but pitcher!!oh well at least i'm a diverse player. so i haven't found a summer ball team yet, although i know a few that want me i'm just too lazy to call and talk to someone about it, Brittney and Chase already have a team and i wanted to play with someone on our team so i guess i'll see if Kayla wants to play.

REC softball started last week. we had our first practice on thursday, but i couldn't go cause of our B-ville game. i'm excited cause we have REALLY athletic girls, so my mom says cause they are all friends with my lil sis and she told their moms about me coaching and they all wanted to be on my team. and kayla and brittney are helping so we have a catcher, infielder and an infielder/outfielder to help teach these girls how to play right.we are gonna rock the socks off this league!!

Easter is gonna be crazy with the whole fam. over. i'm just excited about seeing Tyler! he's so cute, and he's starting to talk now, he says ball, ta-da, WOW, along with the ususal mama, dada, papa, nana and he repeats some things like my mom was telling him "tell her" cause i asked his name (which he also says) and he just kept saying "tell her" instead of "ty-ty" lol is was soooo cute. if i'm home and i go upstairs he waits at the bottom of the stairs saying "ray-ray- ray- ray", i love him to death, he can also catch and throw a ball (pretty impressive for a 15 mo old) and he has started dribbling the bball 4 times in a row now! he's gonna be an awesome athlete!!!!

                                                                                            SMALLS #21

Currently Listening Me & My Gang By Rascal Flatts What Hurts The Most see related

Ok so not a day goes by that i don't think of him, if it's once or a bazillion times. He is one of the only guys I have dreamed about and he's the only one that I have dreamt about more than once. I used to criticise other people who were stuck on someone and couldn't get over them, especially if it wasn't a big deal. but now I sympathyze with them. He meant so much to me....it hurt so much when it was over. And now it's coming up to a year when I met him and I think about him more than ever.I can't stand it!! Have you ever found someone you thought was you "soul mate"? if you haven't and don't believe in it you won't understand anything I'm saying. but if you do, then you know what I'm talking about when you would do whatever it takes to get back together, just to talk to them, just to hear their voice one more time, just to see their face, just for things to go back to the way they were, you know when you were together. Things were so perfect then.... him, everything he said, the way he looked, the way you connected. He was the only one I felt that much connection, and that EVERYTHING was perfect. ya you ask me about it and I'll lie and make up a reason it wasn't perfect but then again I'm lying to myself just so I'll forget and move on. Everyday, and i mean EVERYDAY I say something just like he used to, or our old joke, or it'll remind me of our conversation and I go back to it and replay almost every conversation we ever had, the hard times and the good, the first time we met, and the last time we went out. I mean nothing could be more perfect from him, to his family, the way he was raised, his faith, his personality, the way he dressed, his ambitions, our connection and common interests and hobbies. He could take something I absolutely hated and within a week get me hooked on it, just to prove to me that he "won because he won"

Am I obsessed? No just going crazy to feel something SO STRONG and not be able to talk about it to anyone cause you have to hide it cause you are "over" him, and most of all not being able to tell him how I feel.

Don't think I'm some dumb over obsessive girl who's in some high school romance and doesn't know what she's talking about, I don't love him, I wish I could but this is just an out burst of feelings that have been kept in for the 192 days that it has been since I have heard his voice.

If you think you know who this is, don't jump to conclusions, if you know me well enough you will know right off the bat who I was talking about. All I need to say is: Cubs, baseball, golf, Adam Sandler movies......purple....lol oh how I miss him!

Here is a Rascal Flatts song off their new album that makes me think of him:

Pieces

From the moment that we met

My world was turned around,

Upside down

To some degree I still regret

My memory

For keeping you around

I thought that you were mine

But my broken heart's been

Shattered

One too many times

Chorus:        

And I don't wanna see you anymore

I'm just not that strong

I love it when you're here

But I'm better when you're gone

I'm certain that I've given

And oh how you can take

There's no use in you lookin'

There's nothin' left for you to break

Baby, please release me

Let my heart rest in pieces, in pieces

OK,,, so i'm updating (hannah, autumn, brittney)!! Well nothing new with me really. our softball season has started and i am playing Varsity!!! We had a tournament last weekend in Sylavan Hills, Little Rock, we didn't do so swell and Yost got hurt really bad and was rushed to the hospital. She is alrigh now but can't play for a while due to a contusion (some fancy word for a bone bruise i think). well today is our last day of school (i'm not feeling well so i stayed home first and second hour. ) on saturday nite my family are leaving for Florida and taking Red. I'm so excited!!! we are staying in a condo on the beach, going to sea world and going to a spring training Boston VS. Yankees game.

HAVE A WONDERFUL SPRING BREAK!!!! WHILE I'M BASKING ON THE BEACH!!

Currently Reading Nighttime Is My Time : A Novel By Mary Higgins Clark see related

RONDOM STUFFF FOR RANDOM PEOPLE:

A friend sent this too me and I thought it was kinda cool:

I've learned....That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned....That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned....That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned....That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned...That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned....That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What make some think I can?

I've learned....That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned....That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned...That love, not time, heals all wounds.

 I've learned...That the easiest way for me to grow  as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
 
I've learned....That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I've learned...That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I've learned....That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned...That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
 
I've learned....That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned...That I wish I could have told those I cared about that I love them one more time before they passed away.

I've learned....That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've learned.....That a smile is an inexpensive  way to improve your looks. I've learned....That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

I've learned....That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness, and growth occurs while you're climbing it.  

I've learned....That the less time I have to work, the more things I get done.

THIS IS GREAT!!